Monday, August 15, 2005

Angst

I'm getting all emo right now after listening to A Decade Under the Influence over and over again.

These days, people are all getting upset over issues that arise from so close, so close from the heart. My heart goes out to all of you people out there, and as much as I try to lend a helping hand over, I can't seem to get anything improving in relations. Girl issues are getting to me, and I'm locking myself in my room for longer hours than ever, screaming songs amongst the blasting stereos.

I'd like to dedicate my entry to two special people in my life of recent, more special than ever. Ironically all the girls I get involved with personally, not romantically, have names starting with S. Weird. Involvements romantically also begin with S. Even more weird than ever.
S1 and S2 they shall be then, the 2 people that is.

To S1:
I think control is the keyword to your situation, and apparently thing's just aren't control-able in your circumstances. As such, pick up the fragments of your broken heart and walk on. You will never be able to pick up every single piece that tore apart, and hence en route will be a painful journey. It will be painful stepping onto those pieces which you failed to pick up and nurse, and those pieces are the ones you should leave behind and never look back in regret - Those are the painful memories.

Nothing is ever easy, and I beg to differ about those who say that maintaining something is harder than starting something. I think in your case, the analogy is very much reversed. Starting to walk this painful pathway is alot more painful than maintaining it. And once you've started to do so, you'll be at the at of the road in no time. And rest assure, that all the blood and tears shed will be well sacrificed. Afterall, pain is the sign of weakness leaving your body. Be strong now, for you will become stronger in time to come. Be strong now, and don't falter, for I will be holding your hands. And may the existence of those giants comfort your walk.

To S2:
It was awfully surprising to realise the deeper dark side of you, not that it's anything negative of course. I'm more than willing to hear you blab out whatever you have in mind, and even lend you a shoulder to cry on. I hope the twilight tears of 30 minutes will cease to soak your pillow for as long as time permits. Your need for a guy is very much understood, and however strong that desire for that very one who you will not settle any less for, bear in mind - If you're looking for it, it won't come your way. That's just about how love functions I guess. Major understatement, but major explaination in that as well. Food for thought, I really wish you the best in all. And if you first ever ends up painful, which it will inevitably, you know who can count on for some instant first-aid. Nevertheless, I do sincerely hope it ends up well. Stay happy, be happy. Smile always. I'll always be behind, in front, left and right of you.

Cheers.

posted@9:27 PM

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